Deliya's Poetry

Battle

2005-04-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

There is a battle before me ->
One which my eyes are
blind to
One which ails my whole
emotional self
One which hides until I am
completely secluded.

Though unseen and unheard,
this battle is dangerous ->
worse than a punch
worse than a kick
worse than a slap in the face.

I am against myself...
no sides to take
no walking away!
It is a battle of my soul
that turns turns out no victorious winner.

July 29, 1994

What is life?

2005-04-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

What is life? -
A question that can
be eternally asked
The definition may range and vary,
but who is right?
Some feel life is a beautiful
sping day while
others see the darkest
winter day imaginable.
Who is right?
What is true?
My meaning is indifferent,
not an extreme but a mix of
both worlds as I see a
beautiful dark day is what makes
my sould feel at ease.

August 7, 1994

Liar

2005-04-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

You fucking lie to me
all the time and I
hate it! I don't
understand how one
person can be so
deceitful and hurt
someone as many
times as you have
done to me. I thought
I could
TRUST YOU
and you fucked me over!

August 1, 1994

Missing You

2005-04-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

At night when I dream
I dream of you
And all those wonderful things
we could do

I wish you were here
I'd hold you so close
That is the thing
I really want most

It's hard with you there
I just get so blue
That could be one way
I know I care about you

February 1, 1997

Why?

2005-04-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

The rain softly falls
as I question your god-

Why must I be here?
What have I done to deserve this?

December 29, 1999

Reaching for you

2005-04-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

The hurt I see
when I look in your eyes
makes my heart cry

I reach out to your soul
but the nothingness traps me
blindly leaving me behind
as you wander this world in sorrow.

March 21, 1992

2005-04-10T06:41:00.000-07:00

Happiness is a word
that has no meaning
in my empty soul.
I enter the dark alleys
of my emotions hoping
to grasp a ray of light
that will pull me
out of depression.
My search intensifies
as the demons devour my soul.
Will I ever find myself again?

April 9, 1992

2005-04-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

motivation? nothing can
deliver me to the point
where I am
where I should be.
a point that is serene,
where life is as it should.
Insanity gnaws on my soul
while I tend to my ongoing
search for perfection.

January 14, 1998

2005-04-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

I feel age in my bones-
Every muscle; every flex-
The idea of old is reality.
My looks are deceiving-
I am not a raisin-
but the feeling of the
grape shriveling in my inner depth
every hour takes away more of my life
and sends me to insanity.

July 29, 1994

Despair

2005-04-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

Despair commonly hits me
as a fighter to an opponent
Helpless am I against
such a powerful state
Occasionally, I ponder on
the simple thought of
ease in breathing->
the naturalness, the unconscious
effort that is put into
every single gulp of air
taken into my lungs <-
and feel as though I am not
worthy to live. I sit and sulk
until I am near the point of madness

July 29, 1994

Introduction to ME!!

2005-04-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

Who am I?

I am a 30 year old female who is from South Louisiana. I have had an OK life, growing up with both of my parents there and one sister who is 5 years younger (yes, she is 25). On this blog site, I will go by the pen name Deliya Rayne. I always said if I had a child that I would name her that and since children don't seem to be in my future, I want to use that.

By profession I am a teacher and have been for 9 years. I love teaching and can't dream of doing anything else with my life now. I would like to go back to school for a phD in microbiology, but it really would be just for me and not worth the money I would have to put forth for it. It can be tought at times, but I love my job! (How many people do you ever hear say that?)

I am not married, but have been with the same person for 7 years. He and I have out moments, but overall we have a great relationship! He is my best friend as well as my soulmate!

Why am I here?

I am not here to be a professional writer, nor am I here because I think I am great or wonderful at it either. I am here because I want the opportunity to share a part of me...an opportunity to try and regain the person I once was. I am here for the motivation to live life to the fullest again, maybe leaving a little of me behind or imprint a life. I used to write a lot when I was much younger (from about 13 through the time I went to college). It gave me an outlet to release any sadness, frustrations, or turmoil in my life that I was experiencing. Most of my poems are dark and seem desolate because I felt most like writing when I was down...some people drink and smoke, others fight...me I used to write.
I actually want to type in the poems I wrote long ago then begin some new works. I have tons in the attic, old notebooks, binders, and just scribbles here and there. I like free verse and occassionally rhyme. I am not the best speller, but I try. I would like feedback on some of your opinions, whether it be positive or negative. Please bare in mind that I was very young for much of the writing and when dates I wrote them are available, I will include it. The dates really dont show up until about 1993 to 1995 and last until some of the last ones I wrote were done.

Like I said, please leave me feedback, but be considerate. Don't just leave something rude and discourteous. I believe we all like to be treated fairly and with dignity. You can be negatively honest in a decent way. If you feel you cannot, please don't say anything and click away. Noone is forcing you to stay and read this!